Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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