He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
