You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
