Where is the hickey?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
