His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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