Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
