Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
