the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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