I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
