Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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