I want to stick my p in your. b.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
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Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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