god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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