also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
