no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
