Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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