May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
