He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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