My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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