WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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