Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
