I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
