There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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