i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
