I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
