I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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