and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
