I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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