I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
