Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize