i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
