Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize