This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
