Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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