he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
