3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
