awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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