Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
