shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
