How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
