Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you win again, gameday.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
