I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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