If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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