State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Found your dick twin last night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
