I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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