So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
