Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
