fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
