The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
