I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
