would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
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i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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