wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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