Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
