Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
nutella sex= disaster
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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