There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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