omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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