would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
