Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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