I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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