I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
