I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The Olympian is in my bed
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
