just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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