dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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