8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
