I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
