so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
